For years I set goals, created lists and treasure maps with pictures and the whole thing. I wrote it all out in amazing detail, but there was one problem. They were false goals. I used every technique, yet most of them never came true. Why? Because they did not represent my truth. They were money desires, someone elses version of who I thought I should be – ego identifications from past lives in which I had already accomplished these things and realized their emptiness without substance and love. And here I was still trying to repeat them again.
My saving grace was I was open to learn. If I could have one thing, this would be it. Even though I was deluded I could be taught. That was an opening to a way out for me. Eventually, I realized my life mission this time was to succeed in spiritual things, confront fears, heal hurts, change stubborn self-limiting beliefs, live simply with peace and creative passion, but I fought it, who I was and why I came here, tooth and nail. Yet with each failure and disappointment I was slowly chipping away at self-delusion and on the road to real success that eluded me.
Some people come into a lifetime to make money. Thats okay. Their goals are material oriented and that is what they are this time around. I think about them when I see one of those executive style motivation speakers. I would watch with a mixture of jelousy and pity. I’d see the testimonials of people dressed in a suit who had made millions and asked “why not me”. Hey, they saw someone else, asked why not me and did it. Why not me? Because that wasn’t me. I simultaneously realized the folly of the buck, but still hankered for one. I had more work to do.
Material acheivers are often at a lower rung learning a dual lesson – to use the will and mind to achieve on a smaller scale and that things never satisfy the soul. Often, this takes many lifetimes. I was sort of on this cusp where I realized this, but still had a taste for the finer things.
Whatever it is, you have to find out what you are this time, what your agenda is and dive in. It takes the most successful person to recognize what their real deal is in this life. That is the most difficult thing. Nothing is wrong with having stuff, but let it come out of who you are, what you do, what your gift and learning agenda is. When you work to improve you, the gates to receiving open on their own. Getting becomes effortless, a natural flow. There are no shortcuts. Its hard work, but you are better prepared to know what you want when you know who you are – when you know self.
